this will b the last

No more coming into ur ofc, No more pushing away apts for u. I really don't know why I shifted away my apt u know. Seriously. I feel really stupid. I thought we'll b heading to MBS at ard 4,5pm. And hang ard there. I seripiy feel like gg home right nw. Shld have just went back to my office. I'm sitting here rotting away when this is the last 100 days of my work year. Really should stop puttin you as my top pirority cos I am not yours. You said we'll go at 5,6pm. And it's alrdy 7pm. Why is it that I am the one having to freaking wait for you.

your office

I hate being in your office. You treat wt better than u treat me. You spend almost like 5-10 mins talkog to her about the stupid plans and even calculating it for her. But when I ask about your opinion about your 3rd sis gift your seriously can't be bothered. Wtf can. I really hate watching the 2 of you talk with such tenderness as if your lvl of work is of the same. I don't see ken or Subhas talking to their employees like that. Or even to us.

freaking hell, 5mims become 1hr

You said you'll be done in 5mins. And now I waited for at least an hr alrdy. And you still have a cheek to tell me that you'll reach amk at 7.15pm. What nonsense. It's 7.42 now and you haven left ofc. So much for cutting hair today. What crap. Stop giving stupid empty promises. And I thought today wanted to lunch, end up setting up another apt w someone else. I can take it if it's work. But, cant you just tell me straight in the face. Don't say nice stuff and bluff me lah. Idiotface.

just sent in a text

I just sent in a text and now I'm fearful. Of what? Cos I'm afraid he'll agree to the break? I'm sucha coward. Why why why. This is really stupid.

time

You need time for friendship maintenence,how about relationship maintenance? I am always the one initiating. All the time. Makes me feel weak. And then when the weekends come, you expect me to be free? Like what the hell?

as i say...

I tell my friends that if you want to find a bf, find one that dotes on u and has a good temper. That's the most important. Somehow mine doesn't have this 2 quality. Since when does guys have mood swing?! This crazy mood swing of yours is feaking driving me nuts. The longer u keep quiet and stand in your corner, the more I boil. You don't get it do you. Feaking 15 mins has passes since I just say beside u doing freaking nothing while u read ur comic and ignoring me. Argh!!!!!!!!!! Is this the guy u wanna marry!

stop wasting my time

I pushed away an apt today so I could accompany your parents. Yet at the last min they said they didn't want to go and left me with no plans. I then decided that I shall come and find u instead but u and your bad ass mood decided to throw a freaking hell temper at me cos I said I didn't like to go to the library. What a sunday. Seriously a waste of my time.

bastard

1. Same thing happening again and again. Throughout the train ride, didn't say a single thing. 2. When I said sorry, u left me. 3. Couldnt be decent enough to drop a msg to say we'll talk things thru while I had to meet a client 4. No calls, and when I called nv thought of asking me to go over. 5. Wait for me to solve things Bastard

我真傻

Happy 3 years 11 months to myself. This is definitely not what I thought it'll end up to. I planned all this. Excitedly. For who? For myself. Cos u don't remember again. Well, u say u do. But there'd a difference btw just remembering and keeping it Close to your heart. I woke up at 1.30 seeing u so focused in your game. Don't remember a shit. The thing about you is u always try to put out the fire after setting the fire. It's never about preventing the fire. Hate it. After going through this for 47 times, I thought things may be different. But no. It's still me remembering. Still me holding on to it.

on the phone

Damn freaking u! Irritate the hell out of me. Wad the hell is wrong w u.

u!

You revengeful guy.

on the 40th month..

You gave me fever, yet u turned your back against me.. You were pissed.. For wat?! The only reason why I'm like in this state is bcos I looked after you ystd.. Damn. I'm pissed cos u changed my picture and you didn't even change yours. No excuse for your forgetfulness. And it is nothing to do about calculative..

thanks..

Thanks for pissing me yet again. I hate it when I've got to go to bed feeling pissed and mad. Pls to a temper check. Freaking hell. What happened to ur patience? I WILL NEVER EVER AGAIN TOUCH YOUR PHONE, NEITHER WILL I ASK ABOUT YOUR ACTIVITIES! U know it's not th guy when he doesn't spend time with your family. Even worse, during birthdays. Screw it. Shall nt celebrate urs either. The number if times I spend time over at your family for dinner and events is countless. What about you?! How many times have u had a decent meal with my family?!

This used to be a place where i vent my frustrations over him. Now, this particular entry is just for momento sake. To record down what just happened today.

I'm always the one wanting to meet, no matter how long we've not seen each other. I'm a girl afterall. I've since changed from the "I will not initiate" to the initiative me. I've grown independent. Of course, not up to his standards yet.

Work's been tough. He doesnt know. He's not giving me any support in any way either. The stress of meeting appts and meeting targets. The stress of my managers questioning me on why I did not meet the expected target hunts me day-in day-out. Yet I still willingly set aside time daily to talk to him. Make an effort to meet him. But, the response i get in return is very much disappointing. I've repeatedly told him that I sleep at ard 11pm daily, so let's make it a point to talk before we sleep. It's definitely not much to ask right? but hell no. It IS too much for him.

Guys... When in courtship and relationship. What a BIGBIG difference. It's a month late. My 3rd yr gift from him. I'm trying hard not to bug him from him. Call it a test.. I really do want to know how much do I stand in his heart.

We had a massive quarrel today.. And I've never felt so hurt my entire life before. My pride's been smashed like a million times.

I called him at least 20 times. and that 20 times, he hung up on me. Not only so... He cut several calls while i was speaking.. An aries has massive pride. I wonder if he even cared. On my side.. I'm in office on a sunday.. I'm 10 appt short and I'm treated like shit. Not only so..
HA, he said i was like his ex. What an insult.

Babe, when are u going to stand up on ur own feet? Are u really going to wait for him to do something drastic before u realise what u're in?

the end

I guess this is the end.. Anyway u've always thought I'm the bad one.. I want to say, go look at the mirror. I dun say it to u doesn't mean I dun feel it dumbo! Which boyfriend in the right mind would let a girl go home late on her own? Which boyfriend would hang up the phone on his crying girfriend? Which boyfriend would lose his patience for giving assurances? Youyouyou! I can't stand your wake up late attidude. Can't stand your insensitivity to my emotions.. Can't stand that u can't make me laugh when I'm down. Can't sand that you're so lazy to work. Can't stand that dun call me back when we hang up while quarrelling. Can't stand that u dun Noe wad I need most when we quarrel.. Can't stand that u put ALL the blame on me. Then why am I so hurt? Damn u! Damn u for hurting me.

i will change

I will become wad u want me to be, then I'll leave u.

once upon a time..

Once upon a time the sweet things that we did were special to us, now u feel like it's a chore.. Once upon a time the patience we had for each other, now snaps as if it's a light stick.

selfish

You know that he's selfish when he stops telling u things that help u. Just becos I rebuke the first time u make a vow in your head to stop bothering me. And that's selfish, cos u know u shld telling me to study, but u dun selfish selfish! I hate hate!

u and your temper..

Hate you giving me attitude when u are in a bad mood. Hate u with ur ulcers. U meanie!

He is one heartless creature..

Heartless! Unbelievable... Today marks our 31 month tog. No doubt a friday too. He totally going to leave me and join his friends to GAME! I cantcan't stand his gaming habbits anymore! Not only so, I cant believe that he actually pretend to not to see me crY! wad a JERK!!!! Though I may have given my consent the day before, I am disappointed that he didntdidn't eVen make an effort to make things better! Come on, cant u at least make an effort to change the Venue , or maybe end earlier? Things kind of things also need me to teach you? No heart.. Thats all i see.. I tried to be nice and all yesterday, cutting u the slack that for the hundredth time u forgot the day again... But the reason y I'm so mad is because how freaking a jerk u are by ignoring my feelings and pretending to not see me cry! At least in the past U'd had passed me a tissue! U dun deserve me! PISSED.