nasty person, nasty me

This is my only avenue of trying to write something that i truly feel.
Today, a friend turned nasty. To the outside world, he's a nice friend. But when one day he decided to pick on you, that's it. I'd witness it, and now it's my turn- next on the list.
How can a guy be so short tempered. He's acting like a girl! Calling names? This gotta stop.
There's no one to tell but only the victims. Cos, no one would actually believe these were true.
During the good old days, he once told me that he was having a cold war with his friend, a girl. I was totally shocked. HOW can an adult act like that to a girl! I told him to just give in.
Twice, i saw him turn his back on 2 friends, both i knew. I had never thought much of the incident. Today, i had a clear picture. I'm guilty of believing him (on the story of aa) once. Cos i thought that the other party was kinda strong headed. I'm afraid i might be wrong.
Nastynasty things he did. I have never seen a sane man behaving like this to a female! Moreover a friend. I tried many times to see past these childish behaviours. But he cant. Maybe it's really time to let go of this friendememy. I pity he's girlfriend. That is, if he's ever going to get one.




So much of a nasty person. Now, nasty me.

I'd become obsessive. I never once dreamt that i'm this kind of a person. During singlehood, I saw myself to be a outgoing, attention grabbing, loud person with activites filled to the brim. My life now is now filled with silence. No one but me in this silence. I wonder if the so called sisters are really there. Everything seems bleek. I'm becoming less confident of myself, less outspoken, more reserved, less optimistic. I need to break away from him. Or rather, be the player, not the played. My feelings are sososo strong that i'd suffocate when i dun get enough of him. Yes, i'm overly obsessive. I blame it on my lack of confidence. The lack of activites. Lack of friends. But deep down, i know i've change.

I shall change, with the help of god. I really want to. I shall make a list:
- Keep comments about ppl around him to myself
- Let him do what he wants
- His happiness should be my pirority
- Stop being paranoid
- Stop thinking of the worst
- Breathe
- Be nice

Because of lord, i will.